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Sasha Saidin

What she really like?
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You know people think I don't read what they say about me or my friends in their blogs and their guestbooks etc .... But we're all humans and we all have a natural instinct to pre-judge someone and that's fine with me cause all I can say is ... you ain't my momma or my daddy!

Sagittarius/Capricorns use knowledge to understand the world and hard work to master it. Those born on this cusp are both ambitious and disciplined, determined and dedicated to achieving their goals. They are also practical and realistic, cautious not to get in over their head. Sagittarius/Capricorns are the scholars and learners of the zodiac. They seek the truth and the meaning of life, and they love to explore. The astrological symbol of Sagittarius is the Archer. The Archer is a Centaur, half man and half horse, and it is the only sign of the zodiac that is half man and half beast. Centaurs were the great scholars and intellectuals of Greek and Roman myth, but they could also be hotheaded and aggressive.

The astrological symbol of Capricorn is the Sea Goat. They start from the sea and ascend to the highest mountain tops, working their way upward with every step. While the path is not always smooth, their determination to succeed ensures they will persevere. They can also be rigid and unforgiving when others stand in their way. Sagittarius/Capricorns are not fixed or opinionated, and they have no set plan or bias, but seek to learn new ideas as they come. This aspect is indicative of the mutable nature of the sun sign Sagittarius. These people often excel in the workplace and are business leaders, often starting businesses or coming up with new ideas. In this way, Capricorn exemplifies the cardinal quality assigned to it. Capricorns' organizational ability combines with their diligence to help them achieve their goals. Sagittarius/Capricorns desire the freedom to do what they want when they want, and they tend to be impulsive and independent.

Sagittarius is ruled by the
planet Jupiter. In ancient Roman mythology, Jupiter (and his Greek equivalent, Zeus) was the king of the gods. Jupiter represents expansion in all its forms, including the mental outreach so prominent in Sagittarians, but it also may invite excess. Capricorn is ruled by the planet Saturn. In ancient Roman mythology, Saturn (and his Greek equivalent, Cronus) was the father of many of the gods, including Zeus. Saturn is about discipline, hard work and responsibility. Sagittarius/Capricorns are interested in mental exploration as teachers and philosophers, and are loyal and charitable, self-controlled and self-reliant. They are also trustworthy and charming, adaptable to all situations.

The
element associated with Sagittarius is Fire. The element associated with Capricorn is Earth. Fire/Earth Signs are physical and practical. While they are about action and leadership, they are not in a hurry. Their innate optimism and belief in straightforward dealings with others can sometimes make them careless or impulsive, but underneath they are economical, shrewd and rather conservative. Sagittarius/Capricorns love to have a good time, and they are outgoing and friendly. They are, however, also among the most responsible and traditional signs of the zodiac. They are generally polite and warm, because they understand that making enemies will not help them achieve in life.

Many Sagittarius/Capricorns are natural comedians, sometimes exaggerating their adventures to entertain others. Their innate self-confidence may make them argumentative or blunt, but their intention is to learn, not to offend. They are high-spirited and enthusiastic, often flirtatious, and they tend to enjoy social life immensely. In their leisure time, Sagittarius/Capricorns athleticism comes to the forefront. Personal challenge is always appreciated, and they tend to prefer competition with others. One-on-one competition also appeals to them, and they especially enjoy golf and martial arts. They tend to be lucky, and may enjoy gambling. Thanks to their philosophical side, they also enjoy drama, debate and most other mentally challenging pursuits.

Full Circle?

I must live with this pain
Or I will soon go insane
It can't be long now
This far I have come, God knows how

Do I ask for too much?
Have I pushed the boundaries to the edge?
Then why do I feel as if my heart's been stoned
Stomped on and left to bleed on it's own

If I could see into the future
One thing, and one thing, only would I ask
Will I ever be feel whole and happy?
Happy to have found love at long last

Patience is a virtue they say
Something I have been told I possess
But there's a limit to almost everything
And I feel my final hour is coming faster each day

My father, my mother
They are my strength and my beam
That I cling on to for dear life
As I am thrown all around in this hurricane of dreams

I am told to pick myself up, move on
And trust in fate and destiny each day
But tell me, what's the use of going on and on
Moving in this cycle that will choke me someday

I feel so cheated and used in every way
They play me out time and time again
When will I ever learn, I hear you say
But, Friend I can't help it or change my ways

There must be someone out there to love me
Somebody who will treat me like I'm their only destiny
Never expecting anything but my love and affection
And want to live their dreams with me, without perfection

For I have learnt that life is not a fairy tale
Not everything will have a 'happily ever after'
But for once, just this once,
Please why can't I feel true love just like others

I am so physically tired, I am barely surviving
All my emotions are drained away into nothing
The only thing that seems to keep me going
Is my belief that good things come to the deserving

I believe I am deserving
Deserving... just like any other
So before I give in to my depressions
Help me get out of this cold place, so like a prison

The same faces I seem to see
People with false pretenses will always be
So silly am I to think that things are changing
For I should know by now things will never ever get going

So I am stuck here, I'm quite convinced
Unless God is kind enough to set me free and not sink
But till then, right here will I stay and rot
Watching others live their lives with love and I not

I awake to a brand new day
Have to keep on moving, moving today
Got things to do, people to see
Otherwise I'll just never surface, struggling to breathe.

~ Sasha Saidin ~
1st May 2001
It was one of those days... *shrugs*

I think I need a shrink! Would anyone care to volunteer their services? Only genuine shrinks please!!